Tainted Kiss Read online

She caught the resigned look of tenderness that flickered when he first looked up.

  She caught the slice of absolute shock when he met her open eyes.

  She caught the genuine smile he gave her. Gods, he rarely smiled. She tried to smile too, couldn’t help it. He looked like a warrior god created just for her. If this were a dream, she wanted to live here forever. Stay.

  He was getting up.

  No! “St—” Her voice was barely a whisper, cracking through the dry tissues of her throat. Did he even hear her?

  Dark eyes wide, he leaned closer. Brooding, big, a swift protective presence. “Ria! Holy gods. Can you hear me?”

  She nodded and opened her mouth to try to say more.

  “Don’t try to talk yet.” He still held her hand in his much larger ones, concern and wonder on his handsome face.

  Arawn.

  His name burst like a firework in her mind. The Lash demons’ uncompromising Commander. His voice was the one that had cajoled her and ordered her to wake up.

  She didn’t know why he was here, or why she was here for that matter. All she knew was this huge, lethal man was one hundred percent focused on her. He almost always looked ready to tear something apart, rarely cracking a smile.

  But now, the grin he wore would have brought her to her knees, if she hadn’t already been in a bed.

  And why, exactly, was she in bed? She glanced around, taking in the pale green walls. This wasn’t her room. She didn’t have a painting of the black sand beach of Tarsa on her wall. “Where am I?” Her voice rasped over the words.

  “Already ignoring that I told you not to talk.” But his eyes twinkled. “You’re in the medical wing. Gods, it’s good to see you in the realm of the living.” He pulled out his phone and dialed. “Ashina. Get in here. She’s awake.”

  Ashina…Ria knew that name. The healer. “What do you mean, the realm of the living?”

  “You decided to take a month off.” He spoke wryly, but that grin remained in place. “And you didn’t request permission.”

  “A month? What?” She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat, finally getting her sentences out without her voice cracking.

  “You don’t remember?” His brows knit as he scrutinized her, and she was acutely aware that she was wearing an ugly hospital gown.

  Ria shook her head and instantly regretted it. The room swung left to right and she froze, letting her body regain its bearings. She tried to remember. But all her thoughts were dark and fuzzy, except waking up to Arawn holding her hand and speaking tender words. Never mind that she couldn’t remember exactly what he said. Gods, that image would stay with her forever.

  Good to see you in the realm of the living…Wait. His words implied he’d been here while she slept. And his voice—she’d heard him. He’d talked to her, told her to wake up. But he was so busy… “Why are you here?” she asked.

  He quirked a brow, but not before the ghost of a deeper emotion flitted across his face.

  Oh shit. He gave orders. He didn’t answer to anyone. She bit her lip. “I’m sorry, I—”

  The door opened and Ashina entered, her green eyes wide in wonder. “Hey, Ria.” She washed her hands quickly, then crossed the room and took Ria’s other hand, a huge smile on her face. “How do you feel?”

  Ria frowned. “Confused.”

  “I bet. You were out for a month.” The healer’s gentle touch moved to her forehead, then her wrist.

  “Yeah. I heard. What happened?”

  Ashina looked to Arawn. He held the healer’s gaze for a minute, then folded his arms and focused on Ria. “We fought Elegia’s army. You got hurt pretty bad.”

  Elegia’s army? Ria struggled to connect the dots in her mind. Elegia…The female vampire was brilliant and deranged, concocting a wonder drug that made her army especially strong. “Army? Did we win?”

  “Hell yes, we won. If we hadn’t none of us would be sitting here right now.” Arawn paced to the other side of the small room and back again, seeming to fill up every bit of free space. “We’d either be dead, or addicted to her lily drug and doing her bidding.” A muscle ticked in his biceps. “I’d rather be dead.”

  “It’s okay if you don’t remember everything right away,” Ashina said. “Short term memories are the last to come back. Long term memories are usually locked in place.”

  Ria slid a glance to Arawn, who was now on his phone. She fiddled with the crisp cotton edge of her bedsheet. “Yeah. I remember talking about Elegia in meetings, but I don’t remember a battle.”

  “That’s totally normal,” Ashina said. “You seem fine, physically. You have been for several days. We were just waiting for you to wake up.”

  “What happened to me?” Lash demons healed so rapidly, Ria couldn’t imagine why she’d be in the medical wing for a month.

  “You inhaled Serus breath. And since Elegia’s demons were all taking her lily extract, everything about them was stronger. The toxin was more potent.” Ashina adjusted a light above the bed. “Your lungs were damaged and threatened to shut down. You were getting so little air, it was like a permanent asthma attack. You would panic, your heart rate would speed up…it was already higher than normal due to the effort to try to push more oxygen through your body. I had to induce a coma to keep you calm enough to heal.”

  “Oh my gods,” Ria murmured. “I’ve never heard of anything like that happening to a Lash demon.”

  “We couldn’t imagine the full range of what Elegia’s potion could do,” Arawn said. “But I’ve got someone digging into her research.” His attention shifted to the door.

  “Who?” Ria asked. Arawn employed a lot of smart people, but Elegia was smart enough to bring an extinct plant back to life. Only a scientist could—

  “Ria!” The door burst open and Gin, Ria’s closest friend and sister-in-law, ran into the room. Mathias was close behind.

  “Hey, little sis. You had us worried for a bit.” Mathias slowed as Gin darted to the bed.

  Seeing them, and the obvious relief in their eyes, released a burst of warmth in Ria’s chest. “Hey, guys.”

  Gin flung her arms around Ria. “Oh my god. You’re awake! Are you okay?” She turned to Ashina. “Is she okay?”

  The healer smiled. “Yes.” She turned to Ria. “Your muscles might be weak from lying in bed for so long. But that’s the only physical issue. And your short term memory should come back, though I can’t say exactly when.”

  “Memory?” Gin asked.

  Ria rubbed her temple. “I guess there was some sort of battle?”

  Gin stared at her. “Um, yeah.” Her green eyes widened. “You don’t remember? Girl, there’s so much to tell you!”

  Ria was really starting to wonder what all she had missed. “I want to know everything. Tell me—” A sudden yawn interrupted her words and she scowled. “Why am I yawning? I just woke up.”

  “You also have had zero activity for a month.” Ashina set a glass of water on the bedside table. “Not even talking. I suggest you rest for now. There’ll be plenty of time to hear the details later.”

  “Well, I’m glad we won.” Ria pushed up a little higher on her pillows, moving slowly to keep the dizzies at bay. “And I’m happy to see you guys. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “We’re so happy you’re going to be all right.” Gin’s voice softened. “It was scary in the beginning…”

  “But we knew you’d pull through,” Mathias said. “Mom and Dad would’ve killed me if not.”

  “Are your sisters still here?” Ria asked. Gin hadn’t been to Watcher HQ before last month, when she’d made a sudden visit with two of her sisters.

  “Alina’s here. And someone gave me a big research project.” Gin widened her eyes and spoke sarcastically but with a hint of humor.

  “What?” Ria aimed a wary glance at her friend. “But I’m warning you that my brain isn’t ready to process any details about enzymes or flower cells.”

  “I decided to give our little resident scientist a
ll of Elegia’s notes, files, and plants,” Arawn said.

  “Ohhh. That’s right up your alley. I—” Ria yawned again. Gin had just earned her master’s degree in agricultural science. “Ugh. I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

  “Maybe you should. Doctor’s orders.” Mathias gave her a stern look that lasted all of two seconds before a smile broke through. “But it’ll be hard to keep this one away.” He draped an arm around Gin’s shoulders.

  Arawn turned toward the door.

  “Wait, Arawn,” Ria said. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she didn’t want him to go. Maybe that was selfish, because he had responsibilities on top of responsibilities, but she felt entitled. Waking up from a month-long coma should have some benefits, right?

  He swiveled back to her and arched a brow.

  Uh-oh. She didn’t exactly want to blurt out her true feelings to the whole room. And everyone was looking at her. Think fast. “I, uh, I want to go over a training regimen with you. To get me back up to speed.”

  His dark, brooding gaze bored into her like he knew there was more. Of course he would. He led their elite unit and their race. He was one perceptive demon. But he nodded. “Sure.” His casual tone gave nothing away. “We’ll bounce some ideas, and then later get Ashina’s approval.”

  Ria swallowed. It worked. Everyone said goodbye and filed out, and she was left alone with the one man who made her feel like she wasn’t on solid ground.

  The door closed softly after Ashina, Gin, and Mathias left the room. Arawn turned his deep chocolate brown eyes on Ria. “You don’t really want to talk about training.”

  She stared back at him, trying to read emotion in his guarded gaze. “I just wanted you to stay a little longer.”

  He sat in the chair by her bed. “I can do that.”

  She took a moment to study him. He was relaxed, as if he didn’t carry the responsibilities of thousands on his shoulders. Today he wore an olive T-shirt and jeans, and the hint of a smile lingered at the corners of his mouth. His knee bounced against the bed. Close enough to touch…she could almost feel the heat rolling off his big body.

  “You were here a lot, weren’t you? When I was unconscious?” A crazy part of her was screaming for him to say yes. Crazy, because she wanted to hold on to the fuzzy memories of his voice cutting through her slumber. If her hunch was right, he’d spent more time with her than he ever had before. And crazy, because she had no basis for the intensity of her feelings. He’d never given her any indication that he reciprocated.

  “Yeah. I was. I took turns with Mathias and Gin mostly. Other Watchers stopped by too.”

  “I heard you talking to me.”

  A strange look crossed his face. “You did? Do you remember any of it?”

  She shook her head. “I just remember voices. And I remember your voice telling me to wake up.”

  He snorted. “Think I told you that every time I was here.”

  “And I didn’t listen.”

  “You sure as hell didn’t.” He tilted his head. “You just slept. Sometimes you dreamed. I could see your eyes moving.”

  Her heart gave a tiny flip at the thought that he’d paid that much attention. Then again, Arawn never missed details.

  “Thank you for being here. I know you’re busy.” She sipped her water, grateful for the cool sensation on her scratchy throat.

  He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I liked being here. It’s peaceful. Quiet.”

  “Is Elegia dead?”

  “Yup. Thank fuck. We learned all of her locations and confiscated everything: weapons, research, lily plants.”

  “So now what?”

  “Now, it’s back to business as usual.” He raked a hand through the slight waves in his hair. “Doling out assignments. Everyone is back in rotation. Except you.”

  “I want to get back soon. I’ll train hard, do whatever it takes to—”

  “Ria, there’s no rush.” He laid a hand on top of hers. “We don’t know the full repercussions of the poison in your lungs.”

  Warmth flowed from his hand to hers, and she fought to act like it didn’t make her tummy flip. “Ashina said physically I’m fine.”

  “Yes, I heard. But what about long term? Will there be any damage? Will you get fatigued quicker than usual?”

  “No!” Indignation flared. She had always tried to prove she was as good as any of the men. The last thing she needed was a physical ailment tacked on to make her seem weaker. “I’ll prove it to you.”

  He chuckled. “Easy there, Princess. I don’t want one of my best warriors out on injured reserve again.”

  Princess. He’d given her the nickname a few years back, after a job involving the recovery of a royal family’s stolen jewelry. Ria couldn’t deny she liked hearing it. Nicknames meant something. Even a little something was big, from him. “You’re right.” His hand was warm and heavy, and suddenly she didn’t feel tired. His touch sent zaps of energy up her arm and into her chest. She wanted to keep him there, keep him talking. She turned her hand over so their palms were together and slid her fingers around his, hoping he’d allow it. After all, she’d woken up to him holding her hand.

  His fingers were long and roughened from centuries of fighting. And strong. She’d seen him break a dark elf’s hand simply by squeezing it. To her relief, he didn’t pull away, just looked from their joined hands to her lips with an unreadable expression.

  Oh gods, keep him talking. “What did you talk about?”

  “While you were sleeping?”

  She nodded.

  “Old fight stories. Escapes and evasions. Missions, recon stuff.”

  “Really?” She giggled. “My, what good bedtime stories you tell.”

  His gaze darkened and he scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I’ve got more where those came from.”

  Her heart rate sped up and the air between them simmered with energy. “Yeah?”

  He nodded and slid his other hand around hers. Slowly, with an intensity that made her ache, he traced along the back of her hand, skimming the delicate bones there. “Tirianna.” His voice was rough. “You almost died.” He turned her hand and traced the creases in her palm, dragging his fingers inch by sensuous inch across her skin. Such a small touch, but one that she was hyper-sensitive to and it sent delicious waves of tactile delight up her arm. “You’re not allowed to do that again,” he rumbled.

  She drew in a shaky breath as a thousand feelings rocketed through her. Surprise, heat, giddiness, and the flicker of hope lit up her insides at the dawning understanding that he cared more than she thought. And not just as a leader to his soldier, but as a male to a female.

  “I won’t,” she whispered. She held his stare, held his hand, lost in the power that radiated from him. He was huge, seven inches taller than her own height of six feet. He was as wide as the door, with muscles so big he regularly split the sleeves of his T-shirts. He was her fantasy come to life, but she’d never dared voice her feelings.

  She was a fighter under his command.

  And he’d had a mate years ago.

  He never talked about her. All anyone knew was that she was dead.

  And that her hair had been auburn. The reddish-brown streak of hair behind his left ear had faded, but mate locks didn’t go away. The soul-deep bond could be severed only by death, but the physical manifestation would remain.

  A reminder of happier times, she supposed.

  Arawn bore the weight of leadership alone, sometimes letting off steam with his soldiers during training. Ria had gone up against him in the sparring ring. He bested her, and every Watcher, every time.

  Now, with the closest thing to intimacy that she’d ever had with him, she selfishly didn’t want to let go. She could claim post-coma privileges at least for today, right? She leaned forward, clutching his hand, drawing on inner strength to sit up. Moving slowly, giving him the chance to back away, she reached up to run her free hand through the right side of his thick hair.

&nb
sp; It was soft, and she sifted a lock through her fingers, fascinated by the mix of straight and wavy strands. She’d wanted to do this for…oh, forever, it seemed.

  But now, something was different.

  She couldn’t put a label on it. But he was here with her, when a hundred other things probably demanded his attention. He’d been here, telling her stories while she slept, while tactical operations were carried out and building and budget concerns probably nagged at him.

  Their eyes locked. The unmistakable intake of his breath reached her ears.

  “Ria, I—” His phone vibrated with a pattern of long and short buzzes. “Shit.” He looked down at his phone, and the magical possibility of the moment disappeared. “That’s Ana.”

  Ria blinked, the spell broken. Of course, he had things to do. “Oh.” Ana, the HQ receptionist and the closest person to a secretary Arawn had, was the picture of supreme organization and grace under pressure.

  “I’ve been here longer than I thought,” he murmured. “I have to go. I’ll be back.” He released her hand and stood.

  “I might be here.” She shrugged, hoping to look like touching his hair was no big deal, and inspected her fingernails, which looked decent. She’d bet she had Gin to thank for that. “Or I might be working out.”

  “You get clearance from Ashina first. That is an order.” He leveled her with a stare she knew well. His commander look.

  “Okay.” She smiled and watched unabashedly as he walked out. He was muscle-on-muscle, the strongest male she’d ever seen. The chiseled planes of his face could rival any man, from Greek gods to Hollywood celebrities on Earth. No man had ever affected her like he did. And at five hundred years old, she’d seen plenty.

  Yep, something had shifted between them. Maybe it had started while she was unconscious, but whatever their new dynamic was, it had just jumped to a new level. And she planned to hang on and find out where this would take them.

  C

  HAPTER 3

  ARAWN CLOSED RIA’S DOOR BEHIND him and inhaled deeply of air that bore a lesser trace of her alluring scent. But she’d touched him. Her sweet orange blossom fragrance clung to his hand and his hair, wrapping him in a damning paradox of bliss and torment. Hell, he’d been seconds away from kissing her. Kissing her.